Previous parts: part 1 (Intro), part 2 (Zoey)

Here’s the shortlist:

  • Chris Tucker
  • Will Smith
  • Martin Lawrence
  • Samuel L. Jackson

Ok, first thing’s first. Martin Lawrence is the poor man’s Will Smith. If you can’t afford to get Smith in your movie, you get Lawrence. Except if you’re making Bad Boys. Seeing as these articles are hypothetical, fantasy wishlists with no regard for feasability or cost, we can ditch Lawrence immediately. Sorry man, don’t take it too harshly.

On to Will Smith, then. He was pretty damn good in I Am Legend. Heck, he’s been pretty damn good in a lot of films. So why not him? Sadly, he suffers from the same problem as Samuel L. ‘motherfucking’ Jackson. He’s just too damn cool. If either Jackson or Smith were left trapped in a zombie apocalypse, the undead wouldn’t stand a chance. Either one of them could rambo through the horde single-handedly.  As cool as that would be to watch, it wouldn’t be Left 4 Dead. Going alone is a bad idea. We don’t even need to watch past the intro movie to see what happens when you leave the group behind. Therefore both Will Smith and Samuel L. Jackson are out.

Finally, Chris Tucker misses out. He was great in The Fifth Element as Ruby Rhod, and he proved he can do action in the Rush Hour films. However, I feel his performance would be way too flamboyant for the zombie apocalypse. Watching Tucker creeping around wide-eyed with fear would be hilarious, but that’s not the appeal of Left 4 Dead. The comedy is subtle, intelligent (for the most part), and certainly not slapstick. Mr. Tucker makes second place, and would be a good backup if for whatever reason my number one choice to play Louis was unavailable. He is:

  • Mos Def

Yes, Mos Def. Why? Because I think that he can pull it off. As an actor he’s probably best known for his roles in The HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy and Be Kind, Rewind (to me, at least) but he also turned a great serious role in 16 Blocks. However, he’s always played second fiddle to another actor. I’d like to see him in a Left 4 Dead movie to see what he can do in a leading role. Trust me, I’m right about this one. Disagree? The comments are waiting for your opinion!